Are you struggling with how to keep going when you want to give up? Whether it be working towards a career goal, a dream of travelling, buying a house, raising a family, we all have times where we feel like we can’t take one more step. There are times we feel like we just can’t keep our head up any longer.
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2.5 years ago I finally decided giving up was no longer an option for me. But I wasn’t always that way. I had fallen so many times I was convinced that I was destined to fail at anything I tried. That it wasn’t in my DNA to succeed. Many times I failed just because I gave up too quickly.
Sometimes, however, you gotta fail before you can succeed.
Actually, this blog right here, the one I am growing every day thanks to readers like you, and am now even making money from, came out of failure. I had tried blogging over the years about 4 other times without much success. I had convinced myself that I just wasn’t capable of succeeding in the blogging world.
The truth was, I was giving up. I was doing it wrong, and instead of learning from my mistakes I convinced myself that “people like me” didn’t succeed in things like this. I told myself I just wasn’t capable and I needed to stop thinking I was. I had watched friends run successful blogs, but I reasoned with myself that it was because they were much smarter than me.
Why do we do that? Why do we talk to ourselves with such negative words? I would never talk that way to my children or my husband or my friends, so why is it okay that I talk that way to myself?
I work really hard to not talk that way to myself anymore. Because I believe in a creator who fearfully and wonderfully made me. I am convinced I am not here by chance, or to just take up space because I am not smart enough to do anything of worth, but that he created me for a purpose.
This past week I shared a story on my Instagram about a mug my child broke. The child was upset at himself and in tears. After cleaning up the mug, I went to the cupboard to grab my son a new mug and started to reach for a plastic one to avoid another catastrophe. However, at the last minute I decided to give him another breakable mug.
“I don’t think I should use another one. I’ll just break it, “he said.
“Yes, you should use it,” I told him. “You are more than capable. I trust you. Just because you dropped one mug doesn’t mean you’ll drop every mug. And if you do, and it breaks, it’s just a mug. We’ll try again.”
I gave him the breakable mug because I wanted him to try to succeed at something he had just failed at. Sure, it was just a mug, but I didn’t want him to give up every time he failed. I wanted him to believe in himself. I wanted him to figure out how to keep going when you want to give up. Even when it is just something as simple as a broken mug.
How many times have we broken our own “mug” and refused to reach for a new one, because, what if we break that one too?
True success usually comes out of hard work and sheer determination, and often out of failing a few times first. It comes out of refusing to give up. It comes out of deciding the world is NOT against us, and we are in control of how far we get. It means that we might cry for a few minutes when we get knocked down, but then we wipe our tears and decide that “no, we will not let this defeat us.”
It means we stop blaming those around us – our parents, our friends, our employers, our families – for the reason we just can’t get ahead. Don’t give that kind of power to those around you. YOU and only you can change your circumstances. But you have to FIGHT for it. You have to want it bad enough.
And when I say fight for it, I mean to the point that you may be climbing that mountain ahead of you on your hands and knees. The point is, you are still climbing.
For years I’ve wanted to work from home. We made the decision that I would stay home to homeschool our children, but living on one income in a two income world has been a struggle for years. Not only did I fail at blogging about 4 other times, but I also failed at other work at home opportunities I tried.
If I am honest, I’d have to say it’s been about 10 years of failed attempts. Ever since the day my first child was born, I have been trying to find the right work at home opportunity to help our family.
Think about that for a minute. 10 years of failed attempts.
It’s enough to make you want to pack it in. And at times I wanted to.
Now, 2.5 years into my blogging journey here at Simple Life of a Country Wife, and watching it grow each day, I hate to think where I would be if I had actually given up. If I had never tried again, I wouldn’t have discovered that I was capable of succeeding.
The only difference between this attempt and the previous attempts? Hard work, and sheer determination.
It’s been late nights and ups and downs. It’s been saying no to other commitments so I have more time to work. It’s been hours upon hours of research and learning. It’s been people looking at me with raised eyebrows while they ask “what do you mean you make money from blogging?” 🙂
DO NOT REFUSE TO REACH FOR A NEW MUG JUST BECAUSE YOU BROKE THE LAST ONE.
Because, it really is just a mug. It can be swept up and replaced. And for every amazing mug that is broken, there is an even cuter one to wrap your fingers around.
Decide today.
Decide that no longer will you tell yourself you can’t do it.
Decide that no longer will you believe you aren’t capable.
Decide that today you will work hard, and do WHATEVER it takes to reach that goal you want.
Decide that today you will read as many books as you need, or watch as many youtube tutorials you need to, or read as many blog articles as you need to to learn how to accomplish whatever you are aiming for.
Decide today that you will no longer put your dreams on hold because of fear of what others will think, or what the negative voices – your own or others – will say.
Because at the end of the day we can point the finger at other people or other things as the cause of our failure all we want, but the truth is, we are the ones who are responsible for how hard we are willing to work for what we want.
Surround yourself with positive, uplifting influences to keep you focused on your goal. Whether it be podcasts, (try these “Goaldigger” podcasts by Jenna Kutcher), books, or friends with a positive outlook, you create to keep your eye on the prize.
When you are wondering how to keep going when you want to give up, just keep climbing that mountain, no matter what it takes. Keep your head up. Don’t stop fighting for your dreams and your goals.
No matter how many times you break a mug, just grab another one.
